Am I the only one who would answer a personal ad from Paul Ryan? Come on, you know he’s hot.
He is. Hot. Super cute. No matter how backward his politics, how stupid he may be, the guy is sexy.
Maybe it’s his P90X workout body. Stud. There is something really appealing about knowing that underneath his conservative man tailored suit and tie, there are rippling muscles and tight abs. Admit it. You’ve fantasized about undressing him. Popping off the buttons of his crisp Oxford with your teeth. Sliding his belt through the pants loops in one suggestive tug. Pulling down his pants and brushing your hands against his muscular thighs. Slipping off those shiny leather shoes and tickling his stockinged feet. Undoing his tie and… wait, no. Leave the tie on. Picture him in just his tie and his stretch cotton boxer briefs. Baby blue, with gray horizontal pinstripes.
Maybe it’s those big blue puppy dog eyes. The way they melt through your natural aversion to anything republican. How about his adorable ears? I’d have to admit, that is probably my weakness. His cute ears. Makes him seem so innocent and harmless. When the truth is, the guy is in a powerful position. One that can be used for great good, or really awful bad.
You disagree with almost everything he has to say. Yet, instead of wanting him voted out of office, you want to pull him over your knee and paddle his butt. You know it’s true. You’d love to spank him. I know I would.
There are a lot of things I’d like to do with this guy. None of them have anything to do with politics. That’s why I’d like to see him stick around. He may be wrong on every count, his every point may be silly, but damn, he is prime fantasy material.
Is it wrong to say that out loud?